Week 6-Response to Yesenia

I’ve seen men in Philadelphia walking small dogs, but the only reason I know that it’s because I remember that it called my attention to see a man walking a small dog. I guess there is some kind of stereotypical assumption that men have big strong dogs that suit their roles and women have the lap dogs that are fragile and needy. I don’t think there are more big dogs with male owners or small dogs with female owners, but we tend to notice when we see men with small dogs or women with big dogs because it’s unexpected according to what we’ve learned on TV or through past stereotypes. I’ve also seen women walking big dogs and know a few women who own big huskies, but then again, maybe I notice them more because it’s not what I perceive as common.

Week 6-Response to Shawn

I’m glad to hear that you are aware that cleaning up after yourself is your job even though that it’s a hard habit to get out of when we get used to someone else doing things for us. Once we fall into our gender roles and we get comfortable there it’s easy to stay in. Even though the dishes is your wife’s chore, and maybe she’s ok with that, it would probably bother you if she was always in the tool shed taking things to garden with and always leaving them on the ground, or outside to rust. Even though the ‘man’ jobs are yours, she should still clean up after herself. The same concept applies to everyone, except for those of us who don’t bother with such technicalities. I myself am used to leaving my clothes on the floor till I can’t see the color of my carpet. We all have a long way to go, but the first step is to acknowledge it. :-)

Week 6 Moment

I have spent the last several days in Denver, Colorado for gay Pride and it made me even more aware of gender stereotypes. I met 11 new people: 2 gay men, 6 lesbians, and 3 transgendered female-to-males. Among them, I felt so instantly comfortable. I never had to second guess myself in anything I did, from what I wore (I consider myself androgynous) to how I walked, or wondering who would see me with my girlfriend. I was truly able to be myself without doubt or fear.

Now I've come back to "real life," where I am not out at work and am therefore so aware of everything I do, lest I be thought gay. One of the lesbians I met had a mohawk with an other-wise shaved head. At pride and throughout the Pride fest weekend she wore a tool belt. She works at a school for smart young children. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that several of the parents really liked her mohawk. I considered it an acceptance of her sexuality as it makes her seem very masculine and she has had her gender questioned. One of the children once asked her if she was a boy, she answered no and he asked why she had a mohawk. Another little girl answered, 'she's a girl and she has a mohawk because she's gay'. It's interesting that young children are aware and have some knowledge of the concept, as this shows a way in which our culture is constantly changing.

Over the weekend, I learned that there are many different types of people, some that fit the mold of my opinions and some that don't. One example being the sadomasochists who walk around in 'costume'. While I don't like seeing this display in public, I respect their right to do so. Overall, I found strength and hope for a better society among those people, because we were all marching for the same reasons: to live without being judged or mistreated.

Week 5-Response to Dana

Even though it has been less common to see bare chested women in the past, it has become more and more commonplace for them to show their chests, especially at events like festivals and parades. I am attending a Gay Pride Parade this weekend, and it is common place for women and men to walk around with out shirts. To some, it may be perceived as a sign of perversion but to those who chose to express themselves that way, it is more of a symbol of freedom of expression. Because we live in a patriarchal society, it is acceptable for men but it is looked down upon for women to expose their chests. In spite of my own views of the topic, is it important to question why there is such a difference? Why are women's breasts considered so sexual and men's are not? On a related note, is breast-feeding in public acceptable? It is showing women's breasts to an extent in a non-sexual manner. In any case, as your post shows, the freedom of women to bare their breasts seems to be changing slowly.

Week 5 Moment

I'm slowly learning to speak Spanish so that I can talk with my girlfriend's parents, but it reminded me of studying Italian in school. I was so focused on the rules that I never really stopped to question them. Everything is related to gender. When you are saying that a group of people went somewhere, the way the verb is conjugated depends on whether the group contains a male or not. If it is a group of all females, it is said one way, but if even one male is in the group, it is said differently. That one guy dominates the entire group. I never noticed until this class and the discussion of how communication is so male-dominated that this was not only true of English. It's funny because I almost felt betrayed because I thought that was the "rule" whereas it's just what's accepted like it is here.

Random note: super awesomely excited because I'm going to Denver this weekend with my girlfriend to my first Pride :-)

Week 4-Response to Shawn

I completely understand what you're talking about. I was at dinner last night and saw a girl who was maybe 13 in the shortest, tightest shorts. It was more than I wanted to see, and I made a comment about it to my girlfriend. She went on to talk about how offensive it was. It was offensive to us who had to see it, to her mother who was with her and let her dress that way, to the girl who was basically exploiting herself, and to all women in general. It is because women are willing to dress like this, to let whatever media portrays this influence us that women continue to be shown as sex objects. If women protested and didn't wear the body-revealing clothes, the image wouldn't sell and the portrayal would change.

Week 4 Moment

As I was reading about the gender roles within a romantic relationship, it reminded me of a question my roommate asked me last year. She wanted to know, between my girlfriend and myself, which one of us “wore the pants in the relationship.” I was kind of confused, probably because I consider us both equals. We alternate paying for dinner, groceries, whatever, because it was the only way we could agree. We both always want to pay, to buy each other dinner. We each do domestic roles: she keeps the apartment organized, and I do the dishes. We do the laundry together.

We also take turns in emotional support. We each cry and each support the other. As our text notes, our relationship relies heavily on our friendship as well as our ability to express emotions. While my girlfriend is also my best friend, we did not start out as friends. I think it is also important to me that I am more emotionally connected to her than my platonic best friend who is also a girl. It is not just a best friend relationship with physical attraction.

In some aspects, I am more masculine, particularly in the way I express my emotions. I like to randomly buy her flowers, things of that nature, but she is much better at talking about her feelings. It is something I want to improve at because I think it is the best way to get to know someone and be close to them.

I completely understand where Karin is coming from (p. 221). I find it really hard to listen to my straight friends complain about guys who don’t do anything for their relationship and don’t talk to them about it. I don’t understand why they deal with it, and I really don’t understand why they tell me instead of their boyfriend. My girlfriend and I agree to always talk to each other first if there is a problem, not to other friends. We actually just had our first kind of fight, but we talked about it for no more than an hour, said what we felt, understood both sides, and everything is perfectly fine. Being able to communicate is one of the most important parts of maintaining a relationship.

Week 3-Response to Prof. M.

My best friend in high school was out in middle school, and even though I was not friends with him then, the whole school knew who he was simply because he was gay. He was always made fun of and always talked about, even by those who didn't know him. He is the sweetest, most caring guy I have ever met, and once I got to know him, I was so upset at the pain he had to go through.

I think it is imperative that television and other media explore these issues because of the media's hold on the public. Media plays such an important role in how we look at things, even if we are not aware of it. Ellen DeGeneres, for example, came out in 1997 and incorporated that into her sitcom at the time. This was a huge step both in her public life and for television in general as it was the first sitcom to feature a gay female lead. I hope shows like Glee continue to show characters that are gay coming out as a sign of strength to those in similar situations as well to educate those who are unaware of the pain they may experience in an effort to bring more acceptance.

Moment 2

As I was getting ready to go to the Yankee game today, I thought also about the topic on discussion board. I've never really been to a professional women's sporting event. I went to a women's basketball game at Pitt, and it was kind of boring. Unlike the men's team which charges $5 per ticket, the women's games are free. Still, the turnout was pathetic whereas the men's games are almost always soldout. This made the game a lot less interesting than the men's game I went to later. The small crowd was not really into it.

I went to one of the women's tournament games later in the season. While this was much more exciting, it still seemed to lack something. Another interesting thing was that I heard a couple of guys near me talking about how attractive or ugly some of the players were.

I have seen some professional women's tennis at the US Open, which was a lot of fun and was very crowded. I know we've read about how many people talk more about female athletes' clothing instead of their ability, but I think sometimes they warrant it. The example I am thinking about is when Serena Williams wore a tigh black suit which became known as the "catsuit." It was skin tight and very revealing. If she wanted people to focus on the match, I think she would have worn something else. That being said, I know she has already proven her physical abilities, and instead of people talking about how pretty she is, I usually only hear about how muscular she is, which is said about many male athletes.

I really wonder why women's sports are so much less popular than men's. I'm not sure why the women's basketball was so much less interesting than the men's. It's almost a which came first, the chicken or the egg kind of deal. Is it less interesting because people don't go, or do people not go because it is less interesting? I know my brother hates the WNBA because most of the women are too short to dunk, which many people find to be so exciting.

All this being said, UConn's women's basketball still received a lot of attention when they dominated this past season. Perhaps women's sports just need more dominant players to become the face of their sport in order to gain more media attention. Most people know who Mia Hamm is, even if soccer is not popular in America. Considering she is also a woman, she is at an even bigger disadvantage, yet she is so dominant, she is a household name.