Week 2-Response to Jeff (Paulette's Comment)

Paulette, I have a 20-year-old cousin who sometimes calls his mother "Woman" when he wants something, and I don't understand how she puts up with it. My mother and I both find it offensive to women in general, and incredibly rude since it is his mother. Whereas our text notes that "our language also reflects society's view of women as defined by their relationships with others rather than as independent agents" (120), he goes a step farther and does not give her an identity at all. As you have seen in your niece, his behavior can have a very negative influence on those around him. I am sure he uses this kind of language about women when he is away at college which tells his peers that it is okay. His younger sister is also likely to feel disrespected and put down, even if she is unaware of it. His mother's acceptance of his behavior indicates that she should accept less than complete respect from males.

Like Paulette, I would also like to both applaud and thank you Jeff, for standing up to your friend and defending your girlfriend. Language like that is demeaning and cannot continue to be accepted.

Week 2-Response to Tamica

This is a very interesting story. I am fascinated at how some of the younger generations are so unphased by homosexuality. Your daughter's seemingly carefree attitude about it, as well as the rest of Sam's friends, and his family, makes me so happy. I know parents in denial, and perhaps they will change over time, or maybe not. I am so impressed with Sam's parents. Their acceptance will make his life so much easier and better. I know plenty of people who knew they were gay from an early age, but the way their parents fought it led them to also be in denial, to try to be straight, which leads to numerous problems. 20 % of gay men are actually married to women (marriage.about.com), and 80 % of mixed-orientation marriages (one member of the heterosexual marriage is either bi or gay) end in divorce (glbtq.com). These marriages occur in the first place because of how hard it is to find acceptance in society when you do not meet the norms of sexuality. My best friend, who is straight, hopes to have four children, two boys and two girls, one of each who is homosexual. I think it is an interesting desire, but I know all four of her children would be equally loved. Sam, and all gay children raised in accepting environments, is more likely to be self-confident, and therefore accepted because his parents have been so supportive.

http://marriage.about.com/cs/straightspouses/a/straightspouse.htm

http://www.glbtq.com/social-sciences/mixed_orientation_marriages.html

Moment 1-Name Changing

I was just reading the beginning of Chapter 5 where Wood talks about women changing their names after getting married (121). I was watching "The Marriage Ref" last Thursday and one of the arguments shown between a couple was the wife not wanting to change her last name. I was excited and interested that she would show this independence, but her reason was to maintain her recognition as a radio personality. She did not want her fans to be confused by her new last name. I was slightly saddened because I wanted her to be doing it out of pride for herself. I myself, when I get married, plan to hyphenate my last name. My girlfriend and I have talked about it (yes I know it's very early :-) ) and she would also hyphenate her last name. This still shows my familial pride as well as my commitment to my spouse. I understood the husband's feelings of rejection and frustration on the show as he had assumed that she would change her name. I do not think men should feel that way simply because it is a tradition. It seems like changing her name makes her almost like his property. It is also almost like rejection of her family. I understand that the hyphenation for couples with children who then get married could get long and confusing but I don't want to get rid of my father's name simply because it's easier.

Random Musings 1

When I came out last year, it really seemed so sudden to me and my family. Some of my friends said that they had known I was a lesbian for a couple years, but I honestly had no idea. I knew something seemed odd to me, like something was missing and I was never really happy. I met my girlfriend and everything just made sense. It makes me really happy to hear so many people in this class being open-minded about sexuality. Most of the people I have come out to have been really good about it, but some just prefer to ignore it or pretend it's not a part of who I am. There is not a day that I am not consciously aware that I am gay, even if I do not see or talk to my girlfriend. The thought just always comes into my head. Anyway, just felt like randomly thinking and posting.

First Post

I am very excited for this class but the blog will have to wait till tomorrow :-)

First Post...or is it?

Ummmm........thought I posted but apparently not.